Words To Live By...

Notice! Take lettuce from the top of the stack, or heads will roll!
Well, if Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, why does it make me feel so much smarter?
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I tried to get in touch with my inner child but he isn't allowed to talk to strangers.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself.
Mountaintop Glue-Ru: "Stick to it! Stick with it! Stick it out! Stick to your guns! Stick up for yourself!"
I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it.
Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour helpline. If you have been waiting LESS than 24 hours, please remain on the line.
Whenever I'm in a mood to watch the world go by, I just keep to the posted speed limit.