Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Out In The World.

A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.
I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
Living well really is the best revenge.
Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.
And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.